By Gretchen Schloesser

“S.A. meets here tonight.” The crinkled, handwritten sign hung askew on the door. Lucy tapped the edge of the paper, and it instantly righted itself.

As Lucy tugged the handsewn mask over her face, a loose thread dangled in front of one eye. She slipped it under the mask with a sigh. Superpowers? No big deal. Sewing a costume? Ugh. The downside that no one ever mentioned.

She inhaled, squared her shoulders, and pushed the door open.

A few other masked individuals glanced over.

How could anyone tell emotions with only eyes peeking out? Were they smiling? Frowning? Constipated?

Lucy’s lips tugged up in an automatic response, even though they couldn’t see her lips either. She glanced at the floor and made her way to the folding table with a paltry assortment of pretzels, cookies, and juice.

She eyed the out-of-season Santa platter from underneath the foodstuffs, then ran a finger over its chipped rim. The ceramic shifted and formed a smooth edge.

“That’s pretty cool,” a voice said next to her.

Lucy flinched and stepped away from the guy at her side. “Where did you come from? Do you have invisibility or something?”

He chuckled. “I wish. All I can do is hover like an inch off the ground.”

She snuck a look at his feet. Unless he’d said something, it’d be nearly impossible to tell his feet weren’t actually touching the floor.

“Not as exciting as invisibility, but good for sneaking around.” He jerked his chin toward the groups of people milling around the room. “First time?”

She nodded.

“It’s a pretty cool group. Not everyone shares their powers, so no worries if you want to keep quiet.” He shrugged. “Either way is cool.”

Lucy eyed the others in the room. A middle-aged man wore chain mail made from soda pop tabs. One woman’s outfit looked like she’d repurposed items from a grandma’s closet. Everyone’s costumes looked handmade, like hers. “Are these the people who normally come? I kind of expected, well, something different.”

“Hoping to catch a peek of Captain America or Wonder Woman?”

Heat flooded Lucy’s cheeks. Good thing her mask covered it.

He shrugged. “If they’re A-list, we’re like D-list. None of us have real powers, if you know what I mean.”

Lucy mumbled an apology. Luckily, the meeting was called to order, and they took their seats in a circle of tan folding chairs.

A man cleared his throat and stood in front of his chair. “Hi, I’m Taco Man, and I’m a superhero.”

The room responded together, “Hi, Taco Man.”

He inhaled deeply, the embroidered taco shell on his chest expanding, then returning to normal size. “It’s been eleven months and four days since I found out I had superpowers.”

A few claps sounded through the room.

“I discovered it when I started working at a Mexican restaurant. My first Taco Tuesday, they warned me how stressful it’d be to churn out that many tacos. But somehow, when my hands touched the ingredients, they moved at superspeed. Tortilla, meat, onions, cotija, cilantro, done.” A weak smile crossed his lips. “But now they’ve switched to Taquito Tuesday.” Taco Man’s smile vanished. “Seems my superspeed only works on tacos. I went from employee of the month to probation. Now—”

Radio static filled the air, followed by a dispatcher’s voice. “Attention all units. Robbery in progress at First City Bank on Elm and Valley View.”

Everyone sat up a little straighter.

A guy in a brown suit with a Zorro-style black bandana around his eyes leaped up. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

Hovering Guy snorted. “How are we gonna stop a robbery? Throw tacos at them?”

Taco Man perked up, then deflated. “I don’t have any ingredients.”

A woman in cat ears and dinosaur-claw house slippers jumped to her feet. “Why should we let the big-name superheroes get all the glory? We can do this!”

The mishmash group of superheroes exchanged a brief, nervous glance, then raced out of the building, and Lucy trailed behind them. Even if they weren’t able to do anything, surely the real superheroes or the cops would show up, too, right?

Despite his earlier skepticism, Hovering Guy was the first into the bank, his footsteps silent.

A woman in all blue tiptoed in behind and shapeshifted into floor-length curtains along the side wall while the others scattered across the lobby, hiding behind various objects. When the lone robber snuck out of the vault and returned to the entryway, the curtains flew out and tangled around him.

The robber fell to the ground as curtain girl shapeshifted back, pinning him to the floor. Several people rushed forward to secure his arms to the linoleum.

Sirens echoed in the distance.

They’d gotten him! The no-name superheroes had gotten him!

Taco Man motioned to Lucy. “Here, grab his leg. Help us hold him down for a sec.”

The man thrashed, his legs kicking in all directions.

Lucy grabbed for an ankle and used her weight to pin it to the floor.

Instantly, the man stopped flailing.

He coughed. “Wh-What’s going on?” The robber turned his head from one side to the other. “Was I trying to rob a bank?”

Taco Man kept his tight grip. “Yeah, man. And we’re not letting you go.”

After a moment, Hovering Guy looked over at Lucy from where he gripped the robber’s left arm. “You fixed that dish earlier.”

Lucy ducked his gaze. “And? All I can do is make picture frames straighten out or fix chips in ceramic.”

Hovering Guy’s mouth dropped open. “No—you’ve got the power to right things.” He glanced at the robber, who looked rather dazed on the floor. “Maybe you’re in the big leagues after all.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gretchen Schloesser is a mathematician turned mama and writer. When she’s not playing with her kids or answering, “Why?” for the hundredth time, she enjoys going on adventures with her family and finding humor in all aspects of life.

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